Abayomi G. Omotayo
Disclaimer: all characters appearing
in this story are fictitious and a figment of the author’s imagination. Any
resemblance to real persons, real or dead is purely coincidental
NTA’s Tales by Moonlight should be a
national treasure but unfortunately it has been trashed in the national trash
can. I read an unconfirmed report online that even NTA cannot account for the
tapes. In other words, they are lost. What a shame. Before I go further, please
note that emphasis is on ‘unconfirmed report’ before I get branded as a peddler
of fake news. I certainly do not want to be hounded by our now very gestapo SSS
operatives on charges bordering on incitement this Friday so that I can sleep
in detention till Monday before the possibility of a bail which I am sure would
be frustrated. I cannot boast of the magnanimity of any Madam to pity me and
not allow the due process of the law to wield its big axe which of course will
be the intention of my arresters. I dare someone in NTA to rubbish this
unconfirmed report with proofs. Well, do not blame me; I do not have faith like
Femi Adesina who does not need to speak to his principal to confirm that he is
hale and hearty. I accept that the mustard seed is like a giant beside my faith
in this matter. We can all cheer up, it is not all gloom and doom, there is Barney
and Friends, created in 1987, imported from America and still a popular children’s
television series. We have warmly accepted Barney, after all, this is Nigeria,
the giant of Africa cannot be confined to some local Tales by Moonlight, she
needs international collaboration and exposure at the expense of local stuff as
a true Big Brother of Africa.
Our story for the day is already a
popular folklore and remember that a Tales by Moonlight session is not complete
without ‘Auntie’ asking the children the lessons they learnt from the story.
Let us not bore ourselves with the whole story, we shall now go to the lessons
learnt and perhaps a little bit of recap in the process.
Lesson One: Advocacy
is more than venting anger on social media. Advocacy must be based on facts,
whether empirical, anecdotal or logical facts. Two wrongs don’t make a right
therefore you cannot fight injustice with lies. Be wise, come up with facts and
amplify it such that even your adversaries will not be able to gainsay nor
resist. Unfortunately, the chocolate loving Audu got his facts from his driver
and this eventually drove him to the DSS detention center. ‘Chai’!
Lesson Two: This
is Nigeria, human lives do not matter. Death toll is just mere statistics. Even
if people are dying in their numbers from senseless killings orchestrated by senseless
folks, the Don’s main responsibility is not to protect the people and ensure no
reoccurrence. The main priority is to arrest anyone trying to advocate for the
oppressed and the maimed by hiding under the guise of incitement. It is also a
priority to pacify the killers even if it means paying them. It is a smarter
solution. Ensuring adequate protection is a harder solution. This is twenty
first century; people work smart and not hard to achieve results. ‘Gbam’!
Lesson Three: This
is Nigeria. Our leaders, sorry, I mean constituted authorities (never mind the
fact that we the people constituted them) have a huge sense of entitlement to
unquestionable devotion and bloated ego too. Physical size and height
regardless. One small boy drunken in chocolate instead of love cannot just come
from nowhere attempting to ruffle the feather of the master feather ruffler
himself. ‘Kolewerk’. It cannot work. If it remains ‘small to work sef’ he will
use experience to upturn the tables on technicalities. ‘Na so’!
Lesson Four:
This is Nigeria, there will always be committees and fact finding missions. It
is in our national DNA. This is especially true for communal clashes and
attacks. These committees and fact finding missions do not actually stop the violence;
they identify ways to stop the violence and then report back to the authorities
who will now set up another committee to stop the violence. Take note that
while this is going on, people will still be dying like chicken but there is
nothing the government can do. Due process must be followed. Those ones are the
unfortunate collateral damage. As I write this which unfortunately is a few
days after the chocolate lover was released, there have been attacks in the
place where he originates from and people were killed. Maimed and butchered in
the most callous ways. ‘Eyah’!
Lesson Five: Now
we have a label for this generation. A certain globally respected,
nobel-prize-winning, green-card-cutting voice once called his generation the
wasted generation. We can now adjectivize our generation too. A certain red
loving, reportedly humble and amiable guy once asked “are we the turning point
generation?” Thankfully and finally another respected Uncle Dee has provided an
answer in his recent piece weighing in on the stunt Mr. Innocent of Benue
pulled on us few weeks ago. We are the ‘Ajebutter’ generation. Meaning a
spineless and fickle lot. If it were Fela or Gani Fawehimmi, they would damn
the consequences, stay in that detention till Monday, get themselves bailed,
come out with a renewed vigour and intense advocacy that will draw the
attention of the whole world to the cruelty going on in the southern part of
that center of learning (or killing). A true advocate does not start what he
cannot finish. The chocolate loving Audu owes it to himself, the memory of the
dead, those lucky to still be alive in that area and posterity to re-strategize,
synergize and collaborate methodically, peacefully and yet vivaciously to
ensure that his voice is not drowned but rather turned several notches higher
up to international level if necessary to ensure that there is a permanent
solution to the senseless killings of his people. Perhaps he was born for such
a time as this? I do not know, I cannot say, he should google the answer.
‘Lobatan’!
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