Please do not over analyze the title
of my piece. It is just an oxymoron. Because knowing the nature of Nigerians that
we love to analyze to the point of overkill. An example is the way we have over
analyzed President Buhari’s vacation to the point that the man now calls us,
his initially-beloved-but-now-not-so-beloved people mischief makers. Largely
our fault because we have not minded our business, incessantly poking our nose
into the private and personal affairs of Nigeria’s number one public figure.
Such indiscretion and indecorum on our parts. In fact, I suggest that when he
returns, just like organized prayers have been made for him in his absence for
quick recovery, we should have a national “Apology to Mr. President” rallies
across the length and breadth of Nigeria. NTA should be able to beam this live
to our TV screens as a national service without charging a dime. This is the
least we can do to show penitence and warm our way back to the large heart of
Mr. President.
Now that I have cleared the air on
the title of my piece, let’s try and deconstruct it. An oxymoron is a combination
of words with contradictory meaning in the same sentence. An Atom is the
smallest indivisible part of an element. Dichotomy is synonymous with a split,
a division or a separation. Nigeria is officially the country of oxymoron, a
people of unfortunate ironies. The Giant of Africa yet dwarf in thinking and
achievements, oil-rich yet poverty stricken, myriads of Professors and record
breaking achievers yet high illiteracy level. This list goes on. Recently, a
most valuable governor’s wife award was organized when a large percentage of
the governors are not even adding any value. If in doubt, ask the civil
servants and the pensioners who are languishing due to salaries owed or take a
look at the uninspiring IGRs of a large number of the states which is a
testament to the lack of creativity. So where is the value? The elected husbands
who are the constituted authorities (my bad, I mean governors) are not
providing value but the unelected wives are the ones providing value. What an
irony! Perhaps the award organizers were not specific enough, maybe value in
this context is in relation to the ‘other room’.
The presidency claims it is atomic,
one and indivisible and so we should not try and split PMB and Professor
Osinbajo, the Vice President. They have loudly reminded us in case we have
forgotten that it is a joint ticket and both PMB and PYO are one. We know. The
President’s media aides have tried so hard to inform Nigerians that PMB remains
the president while the vice is just acting on his behalf. This we know too. They
also want us to know that all that PYO is doing now are the instructions left
for him by PMB to carry out before he travelled. I am awed by this revelation.
You mean the Presidency knew that a dollar was going to reach a record breaking
five hundred naira in the parallel market and so PYO was given a step-by-step
detailed instructions on what to do to bring it down when it gets to that level
before PMB went away. Aren’t we blessed that we have a prophetic presidency.
Never mind that the naira kept crashing helplessly amidst a hapless economy
while he was around.
The acting Presidency should not even
be an issue at all in the interest of Nigeria and the media aides should just
relax and focus on more important assignments. Nigeria is not a mafia
organization therefore it is silly to subtly craft the narrative that PYO is
trying to outshine his boss. Are they no longer one? Can one outshine himself? No
matter that they say or the number of press releases or interviews, the judge
in this matter is the populace. It is Nigerians who will decide whether the
Presidency under the leadership of PMB and under the leadership of PYO in
acting capacity is one and the same. They are the ones that will measure the
progress made in the twenty months PMB was in charge till he went on vacation
and the progress made in the last two month of PYO in charge. Nigerians are not
blind, they are not dumb, they can decipher between lethargy and pragmatism. On
this matter, no fancy words, big grammar or reprimanding statements from media
aides can influence the perception of the Presidency when PMB was here and now
that PYO is acting on his behalf. Actions speak louder than words.
On a last note, this is my two cents;
PYO’s designation presently is Acting President. The prefix is a verb which is
defined as an action word and where I come from, the elders say “oruko
omo ni o n roni” meaning a child’s name influences his persona so don’t
be surprised that PYO is active and acting the script supposedly written for
him by PMB before London beckoned on him. The word President is just a noun,
nothing indicative that it must be full of action so on this note we can excuse
any lethargy from the Presidency pre and post PYO’s season. Did I hear someone
say “Seriously?”
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